Types Of Travelers Coming Down
Under
Generally, there are three types of travelers coming to
Australia for a long term trip, long term consisting of two
months or longer. If you are only visiting
Australia for a matter of weeks, then it's not relevant if
you fall into any of the three categories. You'll be
in Australia for such a short duration that attempting to
pickup a local will be superfluous. It's like trying
to learn the local language in a foreign country. The
effort is better rewarded if you're going to be sticking
around long enough to put what you learn into practice.
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Working Holidaymakers.
This group mainly consists of Europeans
between the ages of 20 and 30, but mostly early 20's
and mostly British, who come to Australia on a
one-year working holiday visa. The visa allows
them to work odd jobs as they travel around the
country on the cheap. Irish, Dutch, and
Germans also make up a large chunk of working
holidaymakers. Over 100,000 people enter
Australia each year on a working holiday, and the working holidaymakers
constitute, by far, the largest group of foreigners in
Australia for an extended stay but spend the least
amount of money per person. |
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Senior citizens or other
retirees. Those who've reached
retirement age in their own countries or been able
to retire a little earlier than normal because of
their jobs or status fall into this category.
These people buy caravans/motorhomes and leisurely
travel around the country, usually with a partner
but not always. |
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Middle-aged, but on the
younger side, who've been out of college for at
least a decade and are between jobs or phases in
their life. People in this category
have had several jobs already and coming to
Australia is more of a well-thought out plan instead
of following a youthful ritual. Those falling
into this category travel through Australia on a
higher budget than the working holidaymakers. |
Category
Ones, from my observation, see the least of Australia. If
in the country for a
year, they usually spend two three-month stints working different jobs.
With the up to six months they have left, they band together with other
low-budget working holidaymakers to buy or rent a car and travel around
Australia as a group. Or they're likely to combine renting a
vehicle for some portion with el cheapo pre-booked tours. Category
Ones are typically backpackers staying in
dormitory beds in backpacker hostels meeting mostly other backpackers.
Therefore, backpackers tend to seduce other backpackers. It is
quite common, in fact, for British Isle backpackers
(= backpackers from the UK and Ireland) to pickup other British Isle backpackers. That shouldn't come as
such a surprise when you consider that more than three out of every four
working holidaymakers in Australia hails from the British Isles.
 Category Twos are rare. I encountered plenty of senior
citizens and other retirees driving around Australia in caravans/motorhomes,
but these travelers were Australians. These elder Australians were
quite nice to me as a solo single male traveler who must have been of
similar age to their own children. I thought if my father, a
retired orthopaedic surgeon, were to have met these same Australian
seniors in the Australian caravan parks, they would've been entreating
him to stay at their homes when he passed through. Once he looked
them up, many would've introduced him to single or widowed female
friends of theirs. Female Australian seniors traveling around
Australia on their own (and there are) would've made attempts to seduce
him. If you are a Category Two, particularly a Category Two male,
and you have a decent social demeanor, coming to Australia will feel
like reliving your studly youth all over again.
Category Threes, while not as rare as Category Twos, are not thick on
the ground either. Most people in their early 30's to early
40's are busting their behinds in their own countries working for "The
Man." They are not driving around Australia. Category
Threes face the hardest task in the Australian seduction market.
They cannot coast on backpacker pickups because Category Threes will be
10-15 years, perhaps 20 years, older than the working holidaymakers
prancing about Australia. Being a Category Three myself, I
actually found the backpacker pickup market distasteful. I
was too old for them and had little in common. It would be no
different than me trying to hang around college fraternity parties in my
own country and attempt to pickup co-eds. Those days have passed.
I was not trying to relive my youth by hanging out with 22-yr old girls
who'd never been so far away from mommy and daddy before. On the
other end of the scale, seducing a 65-yr old Australian female
retiree in a caravan park was also not an option. Category Threes
really have no choice but to seduce an Australian, and they must cast
the net wide, be willing and able to seduce targets who range in age
from mid-twenties (not married yet) to mid-forties (freshly
divorced). Seducing Australians of similar Category Three
age will prove
difficult. Most Australians who are in their early 30's to early
40's are already married.
| I will restrict my seduction tips to Category
Threes. First of all, as a Category Three
myself, that is where I have the experience.
Second, Category Ones and Category Twos don't
really need any seduction advice. Category
Ones are at the prime of their pickup lives; and
besides, nearly all will be taking the easy road by
picking up the fellow foreign backpacker sleeping in the
dormitory bed below them or booking the tour seat
next to them. Category Twos should also have
no problem seducing Australian peers, if seduction
is an objective. An urbane foreigner in his or
her late fifties, sixties, or seventies will be able
to meet plenty of available Australians for a
vacation pickup. |
Category Three Females Seducing An Australian Male
This is a surefire 3-step method,
which is just as sure to work in your country of origin:
1. Visit the nearest bar or pub.
2. Act flirtatious with several Australian males. Play
one off against the other and get them all to buy you drinks, as
you steadily become drunker and more uninhibited. The
quality of the males who orbit you will depend on how attractive
you are. Rarely will a lack of attractiveness on
your part frighten away all prospects. You could be
mistaken for an African elephant and still have at least one
male in your orbit. The uglier you are, however, the
more you'll have to spend on drinks.
3. Either go home alone and content that you ripped off a
lot of Aussie male suckers OR select the best among all your
male targets and let him pick you up. Expected financial
costs: $0, and if you do it exceptionally, profits of
$100 to millions of dollars. Anna Nicole-Smith
applied these techniques with spectacular results. |
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Category Three Males Seducing An Australian
Female
 There are no guaranteed methods here,
and most of the
Australian women you'll be targeting will in no way resemble the
woman to the left. Outside Australia's metropolitan centers, choice quality drops
steeply.
Steel yourself for some worst case scenarios. It is the same
in every nation. Beautiful women seek better opportunities in
better locales. But in other countries, there are more
areas to flock to. In the USA, you'd have just as many
crappy choices available in Bumblescrew, Tennessee as you would
in Whyalla, South Australia. But in the USA, you could
find suitable targets in nearby Memphis or go further afield to Atlanta,
Houston, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Columbus. The list goes
on and on. In Australia, it's mostly the state capitals
where quality picksup are to be had or on the heavily populated
eastern coast.
You have one thing working in your favor immediately: your
accent. Don't get too excited, mates. Your accent is
unlikely to seal a seduction and, depending upon where you're
from, may hamper the deal. The only sure advantage is that
it sets you apart and can save you time and, therefore, money. Compare the two conversations.
I
Me (to attractive Australian female):
Excuse me. Can you pass me that coaster, please?
Attractive Australian Female: Here you
go.
II
Me (to attractive Australian female):
Excuse me. Can you pass me
that coaster, please?
Attractive Australian Female: Here you
go. Hey, I'm curious. Are you from the United States or Canada?
Which conversation, I or II, shows more
possibilities for a seduction? Australia is nowhere near a
pickup mecca.
The
average Australian man in his own country is not a pickup
dynamo. As a transient, moving from place to place,
why would you be? You'll observe that the quality of
women, both in looks, intelligence, and grace drops off
staggeringly as you drive more than 100 km outside most
state capitals. As an example, the state of South Australia may look
to the casual observer as a fertile land, but that is
deceiving. South Australia is mostly a desert,
the driest state of the driest continent on Earth.
Leave the areas within easy driving distance of Adelaide, like the Yorke
and Eyre peninsulas, and you're in a literal desert, both geographically and
sexually. The whole humongous state of Western Australia's quality pickup market exists
in just a tiny southwestern corner of the state. Once you leave that region, you're in virtually
the same position as a Vatican monk.
Here are some simple tips to maximize your chances of
seduction success. They are meant to improve your
chances of a pickup in Australia. They will not
magically convert you from a dufus into a seduction king.
The Elephant Man from the UK would not suddenly become a
stud on a visit to Australia.
Use your accent to your advantage. If
the woman asks where you're from, it's hardly a guarantee
she's ripe for a pickup. But if she doesn't ask at all
or even bother asking your name, she has no interest
whatsoever. Move on quickly.
Be willing to settle for less than your ideal.
You'll be traveling through some pretty
hickish areas. If you hold the standard that
you'll only dine when premium food is available, you'll
starve throughout most of your trip in Australia. If
your pickup target can excite you on some level, try to
ignore the fact she's cross-eyed, talks with a lisp, and has
parents who are first cousins with each other.
Hopefully, you won't be proposing to any of these women.
Don't judge yourself too harshly.
I did. And when I look back on it now, I was stupid
for being so critical of myself. I wouldn't have
batted any of these strikeouts a second look if I were in
more congenial surroundings. In Alice Springs, I
repeatedly subjected myself to painful failures by
attempting to seduce the same small crew of country
bumpkins who would be classified as in-breds where I come
from. As they say, when you're starving, even
McDonald's tastes good. At times, I was forced to prey
on the backpacker market (unsuccessfully), which was just as
unappetizing for a Category Three male. Remind yourself
that you don't travel to Saudi Arabia to undergo beer
tastings anymore than you travel to Australia to experience
a copious amount of pickups. There
are nice women to be met, and when you meet one who likes
you, they're very straightforward about their intentions and
also very generous with their wallets. A number of
Australian women bought me drinks. One summoned me
over to her table. This never happened to me in
America. Just be prepared to go through long, long spells of
drought before it rains.
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