Australia’s National Anthem

Nice beaches, colorful flag, great anth . . . well, two out of three ain't bad

“I had to listen to it a few times.  I kept falling asleep everytime I heard it.  When I was finally able to stay awake during its entirety, I realized beyond any shadow of a doubt, ‘Yep, I really do hate Australia’s national anthem.’”  Doug Knell, Doug’s Republic

What is a country’s national anthem but a marketing tool, to both unify citizens of the country by its sound, and hopefully to also expose that country to the outside world.  When a country’s citizen wins a gold, silver, or bronze medal in the Olympics, for example, it’s the national anthem which gets played.  So wouldn’t you think every country would put a lot of thought into composing a catchy, pensive, and inspiring national anthem for all to delight in?

Well, Australia didn’t, not with Advance Australia Fair. One thing that isn’t fair is having to listen to it, and if you’re Australian, sing it.  What exactly does the title mean?  Advance Australia fairly?  Advance my fair lady Australia?  I asked Australians when I was there, and none of them knew or cared.   Australians regularly make fun of the pretentious lyrics, like “our home is girt by sea,” and they should.  Yet when 60,000 Aussies were polled in 1974 to choose between Advance Australia Fair, Waltzing Matilda, and Song of Australia as anthems, over half picked Advance Australia Fair. No details were provided as to the mental condition of those polled.

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