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Nov
24

Like Father, Like Son

By
What constitutes a healthy father-son relationship?

What constitutes a healthy father-son relationship?

Baseball games in the park.   Trips to the amusement park.   Camping vacations by tranquil lakes.  Swimming games in the local pool.

Take a deep breath.  Now imagine marijuana joints passed around by the campfire.  The toasting of two beer mugs during a night of intoxification.   Two women – a middle-age one and her twentysomething daughter – being led arm in arm back to two adjoining hotel rooms.

Which father-son images would you rather have in your memory banks?  (Or, if a woman, what mother-daughter images?)

I take it for granted that most of us have been raised with or at least been fed as the ideal the first set.    Our parents were authority figures.  They set boundaries.  We both admired and feared them.  They rewarded us when we did good and punished us when we didn’t.

As children, we actually want boundaries.  We may beg our parents to stay up late and consume junk food in humungous quantities and be disappointed when they refuse our every demand, but deep down, we secretly want them to draw lines in the sand beyond which we cannot cross.   If they did not, we would feel like we were growing up without a guide.

There is no one universal parenting method, no absolutely correct way for a parent to raise a child.  I would take for granted that most readers had father-son (or mother-daughter) relationships which more closely resembled baseball games in the park than discussions about life over freebase cocaine.  But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve observed more and more unusual father-son relationships, with the son looking no worse for wear for it.

[Click the picture to read the rest of this brilliant article]

Categories : Reality

2 Comments

1

I was in Patpong the other night drinking in a gogo bar. This place has private booths all around the bar where you can take a lady for some “private” time.

Father and son are drinking at the bar, enjoying the show. Son is young and handsome, and quickly attracts the attention of one of the young ladies. They chat for a bit… she invites him to a private booth for some “entertainment”.

Son asks father what he thinks about this. Father is VERY encouraging making wild gestures towards the booths, grinning and shouting “go for it!!” Son reappears 10 mins later with big smile on his face. High fives all round!!

The father always determines what kind of relationship he’s going to have with his son. If his ego gets in the way it’ll probably be more of a teacher/student relationship rather than a buddy one.

2

Nice work Doug. As an Australian, the father-son dialogue is hilarious
and actually very authentic-sounding in tone and colloquialisms.
(Australian author) Steve Biddulph’s book “Raising Boys” says that at around age Fourteen the adolescent boy needs a mentor;someone usually other than his father, like a kindly uncle or older guy that can take the youngster under his wing. Much like used to happen in the older days with a master and apprentice type relationship.

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