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Mar
24

The Evaporation Of Friendship

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The friendship material wasn’t higher quality then. You just had more opportunities to meet it and time to refine it.

The friendship material wasn’t higher quality then. You just had more opportunities to meet it and time to refine it.

Last week, I came across an interesting thesis expounded by a reporter in a Boston paper. He says the biggest threat facing middle-aged men isn’t obesity or smoking, but loneliness. Middle-aged men let their friendships lapse, experience depression as they age, and spiral downward from there.

I’m certainly guilty of letting old friendships stagnate, but I probably have a better excuse than most. I moved around a lot and far away after university, before there was e-mail and social networks to make staying in touch effortless, not that most of us do. I now live half a world away. I calculated that in the last 25½ years, I’ve only seen my best friend from university a total of less than two weeks. I went eight years without seeing him after college, though we stayed in touch by phone, and another seven years from the time I left the US to the time I returned for my first visit.

Seven or eight years ago, when I was living in a beach resort town in Thailand, I made a concerted effort to have Guys Nights Out at least once a month. Three to five guys would show up, enough to make it worthwhile and still keep it personal. All the better if one of the other guys brought along someone I didn’t know as long as the occasions remained a night out for just the guys. As time progressed, some of the other guys didn’t take the nights out seriously. One brought his prostitute-like ‘girlfriends.’ People didn’t make the time, they started moving away, and the nights got shelved.

[Click the picture to read the rest of this brilliante articlo, okay mates?]

Categories : Lifestyle

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