/ Doug's Chocolate Republic /
Review: Cadbury Bourneville Amond
Cadbury Bourneville Almond
Posted: 21 February 2012
The bar is skimpy with the almonds, with just 12% content. And the texture is gritty. By now I'm convinced there must be a tacit agreement between Cadbury India and Indian consumers. "We'll make shitty chocolate," says Cadbury India. "If you agree to just shut up and eat it." Eat only if in India and only if a chocolate addict. Wash your mouth out later with antiseptic.
price/gram: USD 0.018
Cocoa %: 44
There are always times in our
life where we have to do something we have no desire to do.
That's just the way it is. I was once 'forced' to ring
a woman after a friend twisted my arm to make the call.
Singaporeans, Israelis, and Koreans fulfill their military
service obligations. Few, I'm sure, are looking
forward to it. For me, reviewing Cadbury bars made in
India is one such activity.
In my blind New Year's Eve
test, Indian-made Cadbury bars induced gagging. T
were slightly better than the Malaysian-made Cadbury bars,
and that's not saying much. Malaysian-made Cadburys
are so bad that neighboring Singapore, just minutes away
over the Straits of Johor, won't import them.
Singapore brings their Cadbury bars in from Australia.
The only Indian-made bars that one can justify eating are
the Silk line,
and I couldn't find any in 23 nights in India. I only
managed to see the Silks in the duty free shop on my way
out of India.
I hadn't ever tried the
Indian-made Bournevilles. I didn't even know they
existed. I was on my way back to Delhi from Rishikesh
and the bus station where I was purchasing my kathi roll was
also selling a few Bournevilles. The British-made
Bournevilles aren't anything to e-mail or fax home about.
They're billed as 'dark' chocolates in the low 40% cocoa
solid range. I found the UK Cadbury Bournevilles to
have an artificial dark chocolate taste. What would
that mean for the Indian version?
The ingredients are not a
pretty picture. The bar contains two emulsifiers coded
with numbers and there's a notice that it contains "added
nature identical flavouring substances." In my version
of English, that means artificial flavors. Cadbury
India hypes up the health benefits. "Being rich in
cocoa," they say on the back wrapper, "Cadbury Bourneville
is good for you." This is the kind of nonsense you get sued
for in the United States. 44% cocoa solids is not rich
in cocoa solids.
is lucky I tried this bar in a vacuum. I had nothing
but other mediocre Indian Cadbury bars to compare it with.
The bar is skimpy with the almonds, with just 12% content.
And the texture is gritty. Truth be told, I
can't say it's any better or worse than the previous Indian
milk chocolate bars I've consumed. Hence, the same
By now I'm convinced there
must be a tacit agreement between Cadbury India and Indian
consumers. "We'll make shitty chocolate," says Cadbury
India. "If you agree to just shut up and eat it."
I visited a film studio while in southern India that, by
Western standards, was as half assed as an elementary school
rendition of Our Town, and yet the Indians slurped
it all up. When I visited Universal Studios
Singapore just a few weeks later, I was reminded just how
third rate the Indian venture was. Indians don't know
better because the majority haven't experienced anything
better. There's the Cadbury India Bourneville story in
Eat only if in India and only
if a chocolate addict. Wash your mouth out later with