is long since established fact that Europeans are divided into four
different categories: the benevolently incompetent, the stiff and
aggressive, the child-in-a-candy-stores, and the
Countries like Britain and
Holland started out as stiff aggressives,
but as their empires were skimmed, they matured into strong
Scandinavians were also stiff
aggressives and continue to be so, but due to their extensive natural
resources, have become less aggressive but ever more stiff as they rest on
their laurels, too. The
Swiss have and always will be stiff aggressives.
The Eastern Europeans have and always will be children-in-the-candy
stores, too eager to run the show before they know there are rules, but
always hoping to become coasters-on-the-laurels.
The Spanish, the Portuguese, and the
Italians are benevolent incompetents.
The benevolence exists because each of these countries sees something
on the economic horizon. No one
knows what to call the Greeks anymore; they’ve passed through every
category. During their heyday
over two thousand years ago, they were stiff aggressives, postulating
philosophies and systems of ethics and staging orgies the Germans only got
to a few centuries ago. This
gave way naturally to coasting on their laurels (i.e. massive glorification
of past achievements). Every
nation does this to some degree -- the more desperate, the more often.
Like a bike coasting down a hill, any nation can coast only so far,
and when the momentum ended, Greece became benignly incompetent.
If a nation manages to improve its economic image at this point, it
can stay in the benign incompetence category for centuries.
But Greece has managed, believe it or not, to worsen its
economic plight by joining the European Union, thus pushing the pathetic
nation into children’s diapers inside a candy store.
By 1988, much of the candy store was in ruins, and historians
worldwide were trying to come up with a fifth category.
Pollack jokes are justifiably world famous to illustrate the innate stupidity of
the Polish. The Greeks are used more
often to denote analogies of the idiotic or moronic.
Notice that when someone doesn’t understand something, he doesn’t say,
“It’s all Hebrew [or Japanese or Russian] to me.”
What’s said is it’s all Greek to me.
When something doesn’t make sense, it’s called Greek since the Greeks
are perceived to draw the nonsensical from the sensical.
Not very flattering, but ever so deserving.
What about sex, Greek style?
French style involves exotic forms of kissing and rubbing.
German style, whips, chains, and screams.
Dutch style, each party paying his own way.
Greek style denotes parties, either homosexual or heterosexual, engaging
in sex through alternate, less-than-flattering openings.
A compliment? Hardly.
The Italians needlessly complicate their lives, but at least they can deal with
those complications. The Greeks
philosophized all intelligence away centuries ago, and the only way they seem to
be able to deal with modern life’s problems is to wish they hadn’t poisoned
Socrates and to stage an anal orgy in his honor.
Unfortunately, the Greek experience very much supports the idea of
interbreeding. When the Greeks were
closed to the outside world, they were intelligent.
Once they opened up and mated with every plundering invader who was
passing through, all talent and drive sank in the larger and deeper gene pools.
Hillbillies and the British royal family cite the ancient Greeks as one
reason to have a child with your own sister or brother.